


Do You Still Love Me?

by VesselOfLucifer (FayTheGay)



Series: The Adventures of Samantha and Deanna Winchester [4]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, F/F, F/M, Fear of Death, Genderswap, Lucifer Possessing Sam Winchester, Multi, Paranoia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-15
Updated: 2018-07-15
Packaged: 2019-06-10 16:52:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15295911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FayTheGay/pseuds/VesselOfLucifer
Summary: During the fallout of the end of Falling In The Heat of The Moment, Gabriella asks Lucifer to give Sam some time with her mate.





	Do You Still Love Me?

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place before the epilogue of Falling In The Heat of The Moment. Contains major FITHOTM spoilers.

“Gabbie wants to spend time with you, Sammy.”

“Alone?” Samantha asked, flicking her gaze across her Archangel as they wandered through a small flock of Moas. Sam remembered learning about the birds though she didn’t have a clue where. One of Lucifer’s objectives had been bringing back everything that was directly wiped out by human involvement, the kinds of things that could have been reintroduced into an ecosystem safely.

“Yes.” Lucifer confirmed and she closed her eyes, breathing deeply as his Spirit wrapped around hers. “It’s your choice.”

“Why would I ever refuse her?” Sam’s eyes flicked open and she breathed deeply before Lucifer sank into the deepest recesses of her mind.

“Lo.” Sam breathed into the air as she was eyeballed by a suspicious looking one of the Moas.

“Sammy.” Turning around, Sam was met with the guarded expression of her mate. Loki looked tired, anxious. Her gaze raked across her form with an almost nervous hint to them. Why would Loki be nervous? Carefully, Sam stepped forward and took her mate’s hand, wary of frightening the nervous looking Archangel. “Hey.” The word was an almost breath as the other gripped her hand tightly. “I said alone.”

“We are alone, Lo. What’s wrong?” Sam tugged her mate close, wrapped her arms around the Archangel who had begun to shake a bit. “Talk to me. Loki, _please_.”

“I- Sammy…” The Archangel shivered and she was suddenly wrapped in large wings. _Loki_. The deep grey feathers brushed against her skin, glistening in the sunlight faintly as she pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “Sam, you have always said you’ll forgive me. Always. From now until forever I’ve been forgiven, right?”

“I- yes. Loki, what’s wrong? What happened?” Loki shivered, feathers rustling around her. “You’ve got to talk to me.”

“If I were to tell you something, Sam. Something that I didn’t want any other person to know. Something that only you and I could know, would you keep it to yourself? Would you hide it from everyone, no matter the pressure to reveal it?”

“You want to keep a secret from Lucifer.”

“Yes.” Loki tugged apart from her, eyes wide and pleading. “Sam- I miss you. I miss _us_ and I’m worried about something. Something that I want between us because you are you and I am me.”

“What are you talking about?” Loki bit her cheek, wrapped her arms around her sides.

“Promise me.”

Sam prodded a bit, confirmed that Lucifer was in fact separated from her mentally. It wasn’t hard to assume he thought that her and Loki were having sex. In this case… “I promise, Lo. This conversation- it will be between you and me. Lucifer will hear nothing of it. Now talk to me.”

Loki swallowed, breathed through her nose. “Do you still love me?”

“What kind of question is that!” She responded, eyes widening in shock as she realized that Loki was serious. “Lo- _of course_ I love you. Why would you think I don’t? I’ve never-“

“I just… I needed to hear it.” Loki swallowed, shifted on her feet and stared up at her. “I’m… I’m sorry. For everything that I’ve done to you. Every single way that I’ve ever-“ Sam cut her off, kissed her long and deep and relished in the whimper that tore past her lips.

“Loki, I love you. In a way that I can never fully put into words, I love you and I’m sorry if I made you think otherwise.”

“Wait-“ Loki swallowed, shifted them apart and closed her eyes. “There is one more thing. I- I need to show you and you _cannot_ tell anyone. Swear to me, Sammy.”

“I- I swear. Loki-“ Rather than answering with words, Loki turned around and exposed something on her back. It was small and glowed a bright orange. While she had never directly seen it, Lucifer had shown her enough of his memories for her to immediately recognize the sight. Her eyes widened, mouth falling open in confusion, shock. “Lo- What did you _do_?” Sam demanded, tried to grab for the Archangel but missed as she spun around and darted back a bit.

“I think Lucifer wants me dead. I _had_ to. Don’t you understand? I had to. I had to protect myself. I can’t die while I have this and-“

“Lucifer would never kill you, Lo- he-“

“Loves me. But he loves you and I think he loves you more. I think he’s going to turn on me and I can’t have that.”

“Let me-“

“No!” Loki darted forward, grabbed her hand. “You _promised_. This is our secret, Sammy. If I’m wrong, I’m wrong.”

“That _thing_ is what corrupted him, Lo.”

“No. This _thing_ is what kept him alive. No matter his arrogance there was no way he would’ve survived his Fall without it. Enough grace loss and he would’ve died to the attack from The Host. The Mark kept him alive until he passed it onto Cain and I need you to understand- if I _do_ die. If he kills me? I will come back. I will protect you because I love you more than I love anything else. Do you understand, Sam?”

“Yes.” God, she _hated_ it. The secret was a dangerous one and if Lucifer learned that Loki was paranoid enough to think that he was going to kill her?

He might do something stupid, rash. If The Mark kept her at ease… it was enough.

“I swear, Lo. Between me and you.”

Relaxing visibly, Loki stepped forward, wrapped her arms around her neck and closed her eyes. “Thank you.”

“Anything for you, Lo. Always.”

“Always.” Loki breathed, pressed closer and shut her eyes. “I love you, Sammy.”

“I love you, Lo.” She breathed back, resting her chin on her mate’s head. “Our secret.”

**Author's Note:**

> In my Twitter account [@IAmFayTheGay](https://twitter.com/iamfaythegay) you can follow for updates on all things to do with my writing and all that. It’s focused on that so you can find the information there. 
> 
> Also, I have been dabbling music edits for SPN which exist under [The Archangel of Life](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCnPTsdSg6xfJDFhEvzMJ5qA) on YouTube 
> 
> If you have ever heard of the Discord app then awesome, if you haven't, then you should get it. Technically it's directed at gamers but I created a community on it for SPN fans. The permanent invite is [HERE](https://discord.gg/5UnfnzU). Hope to see you there!


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